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Tip: use a regexp so the grep is not matching the line where is sits in ps list:
ps -aef | grep "[m]atchingexp" will match anything starting with letter 'm' and followed by 'atchingexp' , which will not be in the ps list as it will contain the [] around the first letter of your match
By default grep -coloris not producing color symbols if it detects that the output is not a terminal.
grep -color=auto is doing the same, that is not producing color symbols if it detects that the output is not a terminal.
The solution is to use ``grep -color=always`` in the place that need it.
Do not put it in an alias of grep as it would break some code somewhere else. Color symbols are strings like "ESC[35m" and they will be inserted in the text.